If an award was given for the most absurd, outlandish, disingenuous, obviously spurious and hilariously twisted statement ever made by a living, breathing, sentient human being on the face of the planet, it would have to go hands down to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for saying the following:

“Iran is your home and is the home of all freedom seekers of the world. Here you can express your views and exchange opinions in a friendly, brotherly and free atmosphere.”

Well, glory hallelujah! Get me a one-way ticket to the promised land of Iran where a body can engage in free inquiry to his heart’s content!

By the way, those glorious words were spoken by Brother Mahmoud at an international conference, the purpose of which — are you ready? — is to prove that either the Holocaust never happened or was grossly exaggerated. Well, it’s about time a band of friendly, brotherly, freedom-loving truth-seekers got together and settled this thing once and for all. And where else could it have happened except in the freedom-loving Islamic Republic of Iran?

But why would anyone want to try and disprove something that is so well-documented and utterly incontrovertible? Could it possibly be because they hate Jews with every fiber of their beings, despise the existence of Israel and want to discredit what they consider Israel’s only excuse for being?

No, of course not, according to the head of a “fact-finding” committee, Iranian academic Mohammad Ali Ramin, who insisted that its members were “not racist or opposed to any particular group,” but “rather . . . are just seeking the truth to set humanity truly free.”

All of this brotherly love and truth-seeking twaddle might be a little easier to swallow if it wasn’t coming out of one of the world’s most repressive and hard-line radical theocracies. Also, if it wasn’t digging up racist losers like former U.S. Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke out of obscurity and giving him a stage to strut around on.

Or German-born Holocaust denier Frederick Toben, who offered this startling proof in support of his views:

“The number of victims at the Auschwitz concentration camp could be about 2,007. The railroad to the camp did not have enough capacity to transfer large numbers of Jews.”

That’s the best this guy can come up with? The railroad just wasn’t up to snuff for the purpose of hauling in mass quantities of Jews for snuffing out? What was the problem, it could only pull one cattle car full of Jews at a time? There’s some scholarship for you. The Holocaust never happened because of the little engine that couldn’t.

The Iranians have tried to gussy this whole thing up as some kind of scholarly and erudite endeavor to set the historical record straight, but the only people who are going to be convinced are the ones who are already convinced. And some of the ones who are already convinced, the Iranians themselves, plan on scaring up a real holocaust just as soon as they get the nukes that the West is too gutless to prevent.

But those words that Ahmadinejad spoke were truly beautiful (if utterly deceitful, spurious and a total sham) and worth taking another look at:

“Iran is your home and is the home of all freedom seekers of the world. Here you can express your views and exchange opinions in a friendly, brotherly and free atmosphere.”

So, if I want to have a conference that not only seeks to prove that Islam is a total crock, but that it’s responsible for that vast swath of the planet stretching from Morocco to Indonesia being such a pathetic basket case, then Iran is the place to have it? Right. I’ll have my people call Ahmadinejad’s people and get something set up.

Greg Strange provides conservative commentary with plenty of acerbic wit on the people, politics, events and absurdities of our time. See more at his website: http://www.greg-strange.com/

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