Someone please explain to me why we’re going to the moon. Anyone. Something cool has gotta be happening there, because now Russia wants to go too. Are we going to live there? Will there be a carnival there that we can visit? I’m not saying there isn’t a reason – I just think that if we’re going to spend billions and billions of dollars on getting someplace, I’d like to know why. If it’s just to say we have a space station on the moon, then I don’t wanna go – we have problems enough here.

After racking my brains while I was in the shower this morning, I came up with one solid reason to go to the moon – but I don’t know if it’s the reason we’re actually doing it because no one will tell me. I think if we built a space station for the purpose of building space ships and then launching them to other planets where we could live, the idea has merit. You know…space stations on all of the uninhabitable planets so we can just leap frog shuttles until we find a place to relocate.

Years ago, after the Cornell rovers were launched toward Mars, I made this same point. There’s nothing on Mars. We know there’s nothing on Mars. We knew there was nothing on Mars in like…1960. The rovers have done nothing but confirm there’s nothing on mars but dry red dirt for about 3 years now. Still nothing. We can put a space station there too – maybe a penal colony. Send people there to go crazy with boredom. To keep them busy, we can have them mine boatloads of nothing, and at the end of a long day they can relax to the nice scenic landscape of red nothing as far as the eye can see. I don’t envy them though – I saw Total Recall – not fun.

This is a big budget and I don’t think it’s responsible to put money into something with no return on investment – just tell me what that investment is, and I’ll stop making this argument to the drunk guy sitting next to me at the bar on friday nights…

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