Today is July/1, a day celebrated in Canada. Canada Day is a huge holiday, a time of celebration and overindulgence in all things. Happy Birthday Canada.

In the world of professional sports Canada excels in three areas, Ice Hockey, Ice Fishing and Beer Drinking. It is a shame that the Olympics only recognize one of these sports. I think a fine addition to the winter Olympics would be a combination of Ice Fishing and Beer Drinking. It would pretty much be similar to the Skiing and gun shooting event. I however foresee a new sport. The athlete would have to skate out to the middle of a frozen lake while carrying a 24 pack of Labbats Blue, a hand auger, and fishing gear.

This without doubt would be an endurance event. The athletes would speed skate to the assigned spot, dig a hole in the ice, and have 8 hours to catch as many fish as possible while consuming the 24 can case of beer. At which point they will skate back to the finish line. The judges will be looking for various things, number of fish, skating technique (particularly on the journey back to the shore), and hair style.

The hairstyle idea obviously is the Mullet, the official ‘doo’ of the National Hockey League. Basketball has the ‘I went bald early’ look, Baseball tends to favor the clean cut all American boy look, and football really does not have a ‘doo’, I suspect that those big helmets get in the way of making a ‘hair statement’. Hockey on the other hand is very Mullet oriented.

Wayne Gretzky is probably one of the best hockey players of all time, and he was a Mullet man!

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The exact history of the Mullet remains one of the questions we may never be able to answer. Science may well be able to find the elusive Higgs Bosun thingy with the Large Haldron Collider (Bigger than a Zamboni) but they have made little progress in solving the Mullet question.

At least one (unreliable) source suspects that Mullets originated with the Romans. It is suggested that none other than the emperor Nero sported a Mullet.

In my mind the modern Mullet actually started in the early 70’s. In fact I would go so far as to suggest that The Beatles splitting up had a lot to do with it. Paul McCartney clearly wanted a new look and was an early adopter of the Mullet.

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Mullet fever grabbed the music world.

Rod Stewart became a Mullet head.

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Before long the entire music world seemed to be Mulleted, David Bowie for example embraced the Mullet during his Ziggy Stardust phase.

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It was not long before TV caught on to the Mullet. Armed with a roll of Duct Tape and a Mullet there was no problem too big for McGuyver.

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This is just a small smattering of famous Mullets! The bigger question is how did the Mullet become the official hair style of the NHL? In fact I am wondering if it is part of a players contract? While it might be difficult to enforce a Mullet rule, I see no legal issues with offering Mullet bonuses. Mullet signing bonus, Mullet performance bonus for a good season, and of course the ultimate Grey Cup Mullet bonus!

Simon Barrett

  

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