I know plenty of people who openly love trash TV and others who say it’s their guilty pleasure. Every time I see trash TV on in my house I remind my significant other it’s making her dumber one IQ point for every minute of consumption. So after an hour of TV her IQ is at about 40.

Turns out the auditioning for the bachelorette meets similar standards I’d probably put in place when little predators start swarming my house.

Contestants for the popular ABC show The Bachelorette have to go through a grueling background check that includes a six-hour test with 1200 questions, a session with a psychologist, blood and alcohol testing. I LOVE THAT!!!!!!!! I’m sure the motivations of the producers are more in line with good TV and reducing liability, but it’s a good start.

Questions like “Do you love your mother” are part of the 1200. That’s a good question. I’d also ask “If you date my daughter would you do anything to her that would make you fear a walk in freezer and a wood chipper?” That’s a good question too.

Next they sit you down in front of 8 producers who grill you. That would be my mom, dad, dads wife, me, sig other, and my 3 biggest meanest burliest biker friends. Preferably the ones with scars on their faces.

Then they do a blood and urine test for drugs and alcohol and sexually transmitted diseases. And finally a psychologist interviews you.

I have a whole new respect for trash TV.

Robert Siciliano is a Personal Security Expert and Adviser to Intelius.com. For more information see Intelius at Date Check to reduce your chances of encountering a bad guy. See him discussing dating security on E! True Hollywood Stories. (Disclosures)

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