I read many books, they cover many genres, sometimes it is fun to dip into something truly irreverent. The Misadventures Of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude is one such book. I will share a little tid bit with you, Davis Aujourd’hui  is a pen mane. I for one cannot understand the need for this 🙂

I have been told that The Vatican maintains one of the largest libraries of books in the world, I think the chances of them acquiring this particular tome is about the same as me winning the Powerball Lottery without buying a ticket.  In Dan Brown’s blockbuster The Da Vinci code we get to meet the mad killer monk Silas. If there are any Silas’s around they probably have Davis Aujourd’hui  on their hit list.

The main character in the book is Sister Mary Olga Fortitude, about the only vow she has not broken is that of celibacy, and who knows, even that might change. The good sister resides at the Have A Heart Convent in that well known town of Bucksnort, Wisconsin. I am pretty certain I have visited several Bucksnort’s in my time.

Sister Mary Olga’s problems began as a baby, being born on February 29th certainly disadvantaged her as a young child. Maybe it was the lack of birthday parties and presents that made her seek out the solace of life in a convent?

Sister Mary Olga has good intentions but also enjoys a nip of Old Granddaddy now and then, well most of the day, every day.

I asked Diddles if it would be possible for him to create a custom crucifix for me. I advised him that it had to be an otherwise exact replica of the crucifixes created for the nuns. What I had in mind was a particularly hollow version of our suffering Lord. I asked him to create mine with a flip-top cross so that I could fill my crucifix with a little something to quench my ever-increasing thirst

A crucifix can only contain so much booze, Sister Mary Olga sought some help:

I spoke out loud to Jesus, “How will I get through the rest of the day with the tiny flask of spirits contained in your own cross of sorrow?

Salvation is found in keeping a bottle or two stashed in back of one of the toilets. This solution is one that I was introduced to on my first visit to a remote Albertan town in the early eighties. My traveling companion has insisted that we pick up some ‘travelers’, but when we checked into the motel I discovered that there was no in room fridge to keep them cool. “No Problem”, Jerry explained, “Every room has a cooler, you just have to know where to look”. With that said, he left my room, taking with him the garbage bin, he returned a couple of minutes later with a supply of ice, he then removed the top of the cistern, flushed the toilet, inserted the beer and ice, and gave me one of those ‘Told you so looks’. “these puppies will still be cold for breakfast”, with that he left to no doubt do the same thing in his room.

While Sister Mary Olga did not bother with the ice, cubicle four, always had a good a stash of what she wanted.

If you are going to be taking a nip or two, what is better than a cigarette to go with it? Her choice is Marlborough Reds, not just one or two but the whole package!

Through Sister Mary Olga’s eyes we get so see the happenings in Bucksnort. Drunken Fathers, homosexual activities, and the other ugly secrets of the town. The Reverend Mother is a former prostitute and the convent’s chef is a gay cowboy.

Misadventures is irreverent, but the author means no harm, it is a fun read, and should be taken that way. I chuckled my way through the entire book. It is far to easy to take offence when humour is pointed at the church, don’t do that. This is a light hearted romp.

To order your copy of The Misadventures Of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude use the Amazon link above.

The author has a new book out, and that is next in my review pile. He has also agreed to an interview, I can’t wait!

Simon Barrett

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