I have known the infamous Cobra for some time, we first met in the early days of the Haleigh Cummings case. People have tried to trample Cobra, but this is a guy that you just can not keep down. There are people that want to ruin his life, but Cobra is a resilient guy. I had not heard from him in a few days, so I decided it was time to see what was new.

Needless to say, Mr C had a great story. Who needs CNN when you access to people like this?

No one can keep this guy down!

Our conversation started on the long and tedious task he faces in getting his Bounty Hunter (bail bond) credentials back following the problem he created by temporarily handcuffing a man (and I use that term very loosely) who stands accused of the rape of a nine year old child. How, or why this paedophile is out on bond defies any logic that I have encountered in my 54 years being alive. Even the current administration admits that the is no way this man should be out! In my mind he should have already gone to trial, and if found guilty Snoddy should not be a burden on the tax payer, he should be dead!

The reason that I had not heard from Cobra in the past few days was because he was on a hunt. Stripped of his ability to hunt for human flesh he took up the search for missing Iguanas.

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These were not your run of the mill pet store lizards but two 5 feet long Iguanas belonging to Susanne Kynast who runs a reptile sanctuary at Banana Bay, Florida. So worried was Susanne that she offered a $2,000 reward. When that did not work she she took the unusual step of employing a professional investigator, William Cobra Staubs.

I am happy to report that Cobra did in fact locate the two Iguanas 16-year-old Iggy and 10-year-old Lenny  in Ft Meyers.

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I have to admit that I was rolling on the floor laughing as Cobra retold the trip to return the missing Iguanas. He openly admits that lizards are not his strong suit. It was apparent that the two Iguanas were pets, they made no attempt to decapitate him with their lethal tails. This is an area that I am very familiar with, several years ago I became the proud owner of the Iguana from hell, two and a half feet of pure evil! Feeding time became a battle of wits, the damn critter would be watching me as I approached his feeding bowl, his timing was precise, just as my hand touched the bowl THWACK!

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Cobra managed to wrangle the critters into his truck, but had no containment devices so they were free to roam around on the 400 mile journey home. One took up residence on the back seat and did what Iguanas do best, fell asleep. The other, no doubt wishing to bask in the suns rays laid claim to the top of the dashboard. While not the ideal spot from a safety standpoint, in fact I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the Florida Drives Ed program discourages lizards being transported in this fashion, Cobra decided that it was better just to leave the beast there. His reasoning was a good one, more lizard wrangling might annoy it, and the last thing in the world you want is a grumpy 5 foot Iguana whopping you while you are driving!

Things went well for the first half of the journey. Then there was a bad moment:

There I am driving along at 70 miles an hour. The damn lizard decides to move, it came right over the steering wheel and onto my lap. I nearly ran off the road!

The Lizards are now back with their owner, and she is very grateful for the help that Cobra Staubs offered.

One story is here.

Simon Barrett

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