I read a gazzilion Press Releases a day, but there was one that just caught my eye today. The Raelians’s are offering some advice to Tiger Woods. Who are the Raelians? Oh they have no end of claims to fame. Apparently Rael has been contacted by aliens and tasked with setting up an embassy for them. Rael has been working hard on this project, and his web site offers all sorts of ways that you can offer financial support for this important venture!

Rael also made the news several years ago when he announced to the world that his organization had succeeded in cloning a human baby. Of course proof was not forthcoming.

I guess the Alien and Cloning business is running a bit slow in todays market, too few people are sending Rael money, so it is time to break new ground. Rael did this today with the most laughable press release imaginable. It is so amusing that I have included it in its entirety.

Rael to Tiger Woods: ‘Divorce and Enjoy Polyamory’


Las Vegas (PRWEB) February 25, 2010 — Rael, leader of the International Raelian Movement, has sent an open letter to Tiger Woods urging him to stop making his life a model of guilt, sadness and conformism to antiquated Judeo-Christian values. Such a model is a poor example to set for the younger generation, Rael advised the world-renowned golfer.

Some excerpts from the letter:

“Adultery is not mental disease but a very normal behavior among both humans and animals. The Hite report shows that 70 percent of women in America and 72 percent of men married for more than 5 years say they’ve had at least one extramarital sexual relationship during their lives.

“The real disease of our society is the Puritanism and politically correct Judeo-Christian conformism that almost nobody actually follows in private life. Those trying to misguide others into condemning you in a kind of public flagellation are the ones who need therapy, not you. They are judging you through the lenses of their primitive education.”

“The only person close to you who needs therapy is your wife, who enjoys the fact that you spend time talking, partying and dining with other people as long as there is no sexual activity which makes her feel betrayed. If she doesn’t get therapy, you will be better off divorcing such a jealous partner to freely enjoy your sexual partners. I encourage you to explore what more and more people are calling ‘polyamory,’ which means loving many people simultaneously and with no jealousy.”

“Stop saying you dishonored your sport. Your sport is one thing and your sexual life is another. In your sexual life, you don’t have to conform to any politically correct model.”

“You pretend to be returning to ‘normality’ thanks to therapy and spirituality. What kind of normality is that? Which is normal: the happy, radiant and successful Tiger Woods or the self-flagellating, publicly guilty and desperate new Tiger Woods? And what kind of spirituality is helping you? Is it the old Judeo-Christian version that makes sex sinful and calls such pleasures ‘a path to hell’?”

“A true spirituality never spawns guilt or social normalization. Instead, it promotes freedom and happiness by encouraging you to be different from others, not a robot conforming to repressive traditions.”

“I invite you to attend my next seminar, where you can experience an authentic spirituality that eliminates all guilt and fear and encourages you to fully enjoy your life, including sex with multiple partners or polyamory. The Raelian philosophy is supported by recent scientific research that proves human beings were created for pleasure.”

“I personally invite you to attend my upcoming, weeklong Happiness Academy in Las Vegas. The Happiness Academy will bring you back to the person you really are: a happy man with a healthy sexuality, always ready to enjoy new partners.”
Those sharing this spirituality of freedom can attend this seminar given by Rael himself at the Alexis Park Hotel from March 28 to April 4” said Brigitte Boisselier, spokesperson for the International Raelian Movement.

It is always fun to follow the Raelians, I have no doubt that Tiger Woods will be rushing to take up Rael on this wonderful opportunity.

Simon Barrett

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