I retired from teaching philosophy a few years ago when I was 74. College teaching was a fortunate profession in that one could space out classes and meetings. I finally decided to stop because I realized I was too tired to do justice to my last class of a day. Having worked in tough blue collar jobs summers as a student and from cases among my students, I am all too aware that people doing strenuous physical work may be knocked out quite early and driven to small scale disability incomes that most often will neither support families or mortgages. Not all unemployment is the consequence of absence of jobs.
I was lucky, but getting used to aging (I am going on 77 as of next year) has a wide variety of irritations and moments of great sadness.
I am probably pretty typical in that I am consuming daily pills, pills and more pills for a variety of ailments — pain controlled by a heavy pain killer is my most aggravating.
But it is the sad things that really get to one. As one grows older one loses loved ones and dear friends from the past. I almost don’t dare check on Google to see if someone is still alive. As often as not there has been a death that passed me by.
What can one do to counteract the depression that almost inevitably strikes with such things. I try to keep busy with things that I have to do and also greatly enjoy blogging which keeps my mind working. Years ago on a dare a friend and I exchanged summer courses in each other’s fields — philosophy and psychology. I was teaching from a pre ordered text so that I just needed to keep a step ahead of my students. One of the things that I learned about geriatric psychology is that one’s recall processes get slowed down. One tries to remember some name or detail which is elusive and then it will ordinarily pop up in time. The image that sticks in mind is someone skiing down a hill with a rise midway over which one must push to get on to the bottom.
Blogging keeps my mind active and I have many excellent sources of information that one does not find on TV. Also it has put me in touch with many people with similar interests around the world — in both Israel and Palestine, for example. I have noticed other older ones who have taken up concerns which they promote until quite late in life.
Another course I taught at that community college about which I knew little was comparative religion (at least non-Western religions). Hinduism I discovered, sketches 4 stages of life: student, householder, retired, ascetic. I did spend a summer sharing a third floor porch with a man still considered to be the world’s leading Yogi. He was most impressive and taught me student yoga, useful for staying awake while doing late night term papers:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B._K._S._Iyengar
However, I don’t think I buy the last of the Hindu stages of life which seems to consist of doing nothing much other than being a holy man. That is too Eastern for me:
http://hinduism.about.com/od/basics/p/fourstages.htm
Also I am bothered by the reports of the extremes of poverty and wealth in India today — an echo perhaps of the caste system?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caste_system_in_India
Despite the efforts of reformers, things are not too great for women in India either:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_in_India
And so it goes.
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“A war is just if there is no alternative, and the resort to arms is legitimate if they represent your last hope.” (Livy cited by Machiavelli)
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Ed Kent 212-665-8535 (voice mail only) [blind copies]
















3 users commented in " The Aggravations of Growing Older "
Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackHi —
I enjoyed your post very much. My mother is 82, and she does the trying-to-remember-names thing constantly. We live in Venice, FL, which is apparently the oldest city per capita in the U.S., second only to one other in California. It is called “Paradise” by the snowbirds. However, it is so heartbreaking to see the elderly residents in the grocery store, hunched over and struggling with a walker. Most of the older ones are year-round residents, and it is hotter than hell in the summer. I wish that people would rethink the idea of retiring to Florida when they get old, and instead stay near their grandchildren, family, and friends.
My mother had two of her closest friends down here die last year. Sometimes you think, well, that’s what old people do . . . and it almost takes away from the fact that her friends DIED, you know? I mean, if it happened to a younger person that it would somehow be more devastating - but it’s not. They’re gone.
I do medical transcription, and I typed a report on an 80-year-old woman today who was taking no less than 21 medications a day. Imagine how all of those drugs . . . oh well — she’s alive.
I feel fortunate being down here, though (at 55, I’m a youngster). Despite how sad some of the things I see are, I cannot tell you how wonderful it makes me feel when I am able to help some poor ancient soul wandering around the parking lot looking for his or her car, and how truly grateful they are for such a little act. I imagine all that they have seen and been through in their time, and I really feel honored that our lives have crossed paths for just that moment. And the feeling lasts all day.
Well, thank you for your post - I will look up the links you gave.
Very good post Working1,my daughter lives in Sarasota, Fl. and has been trying to get me to move to Florida since her Dad’s and my husband”s death 6 years ago. Florida is a wonderful place to visit but I’m not sure I want to live there even tho my children no longer live close. At 68 years old I’m fortunate enough not to be on any medication or any major medical problems. There might be a time in my later years of life I will need her help but right now my home in Kentucky is my haven.I have lived in this house for 45 years, this is where my husband and I raised our family and can find my way in the dark to anything I need. I love having 4 seasons of weather. If I where to be forced to leave here I know I not pointing fingers at anyone who decided to make a move to a warmer climate.would feel displaced and lost. I think that happens to a lot of senior citizens even tho they won’t admit it. Could it lead to the confusion that older citizens have when they’re more or less displaced to another region of the country? I’m trying to find the answers to the question for my own sake. Not for someone who made the decision to move to a warmer climate for health reasons or any other reason. The scariest part of growing old is the possibilty of losing your independence and having to depend on others for your needs. So when you see a senior citizen struggling to do the things they’ve done everday for most of their lives be patient with them. It’s not easy to have to let someone else do it for you. Most have worked all their lives to raise a family and now have a hard time accepting help now that they can’t take care of themselves.
Well, Mr. Kent, you keep the right wing nuts aggravated with your posts, so it’s not like you aren’t doing something valuable.
But if there is a God, every thing we do, including our joy or sufferings, can be offered as a prayer,
This acceptance of what life brings us is the lessons of the Hindu mystics, but it can be seen in the western religions, from Catherine Doherty to John of the Cross.
And if there isn’t a god, well WTF, meditation leading to quiet acceptance is better than valium
As we Pinoys say: Behala na!
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