The Joys Of Dating

I am a book addict, I have always been a book addict. If there was was a 12 step program for reading addicts, I likely would be a great candidate. I can just see the meeting in my minds eye “Hello, my name is Simon, and I am an addict.” I just can not resist black stuff (ink) on a white background (paper). I say this because I devour just about anything that arrives in my mail box. Even a book about a woman’s view on the dating game. Well I have read a few books written by men on the subject, I was curious about the woman’s view of this interesting subject. It has been years since I played the dating game, and I was sure that the rules of engagement have changed.

Actually is was quite surprised by this book, it really was not what I was expecting. Part one, is a very interesting series of vignettes of the authors life. They were illuminating to say the least. Jennifer Smith is not shy about coming forward with her past experiences. Some were hair raising to say the least. I think the real story she was trying to share is that you have to try and determine what your goal is with dating. Is it a long term relationship or merely a way to spend some pleasant, or occasionally less than pleasant time in the company of the opposite sex.

Some people date with the view to finding a life mate, others date as a sport. What do you do?

One aspect that I did find interesting is Jennifer Smith’s view of the online dating world. I am not sure that I am in total agreement with her. I think the Internet is an inherently dangerous place. Yes I met my wife online, but it was under some strange circumstances, her and her friends had been co-opted to assist on a project, knowing neither my wife nor her friends I made the comment “Who are these bozos”. Now in my mind, my opening line is not one that I recommend as the best start to a long term relationship, but somehow it worked for us. Jan did not make false claims about being 21 and a model, and I did not claim to be an airline pilot, astronaut, or millionaire!

Our friendship, dating, and marriage, grew out of mutual respect. However many Internet relationships are not nearly as ‘poster child’ as ours. We could write a book just on the disappointments that people we know have encountered online. Suffice it to say that models, fighter pilots, and astronauts abound!

For the most part though, I think Jennifer Smith hits it on the head of the nail. Dating can quickly lead to other, more serious endeavors. One should always tread carefully. Those more serious relationships can have unexpected consequences, it can change your credit rating, it can also change your employability.

One aspect of Why I Love Men is that it is exactly what you are not expecting. This is not a book about dating, it is a book about lifestyle choices.

We all make decisions that have consequences. Jennifer Smith has lived through those consequences.

Although Why I love Men is slated as a ‘self help’ book on the subject of dating, I found it to be something very different. It is a book that maybe us males should read. There is more to a relationship than a flashy car and a squirt of Axe. Jennifer Smith points out a very salient fact, there is more than one kind of love. She uses the terms Eros, Philos, and Agape to describe love. All are valid, all are based on some longstanding principals. Eros, love in the erotic form, Philos, is more about companionship, and Agape, the unconditional love that mothers have for their children, and married couples should have for each other.

You can pick up your copy at better book stores everywhere, or you can order a copy from J. J. Smith’s web site.

Simon Barrett

Be Sociable, Share!