According to this article, Toys For Tots is refusing a donation from a California-based toy company.

The items in question? 4000 talking Jesus Christ dolls.

Yep.

Now let me start off by saying this…I am a Christian. I go to church, I worship faithfully, I work hard to live the way God wants me to. I work hard to be kind to my fellow human, and even though the ten commandments are really hard to keep, I try.

OK…now that this is made known to the readers, let me just say this: If you were a child, receiving this as a gift, wouldn’t it give you the creeps just a TEENSY bit? A SMIDGE? A NANO-PARTICLE? Boy, it sure would me.

The arguments for and against are both valid. The Marines say this, according to the article…

Toys are donated to kids based on financial need and “we don’t know anything about their background, their religious affiliations,” said Bill Grein, vice president of Marine Toys for Tots Foundation, in Quantico, Va.

As a government entity, Marines “don’t profess one religion over another,” Grein said Tuesday. “We can’t take a chance on sending a talking Jesus doll to a Jewish family or a Muslim family.”

Makes sense to me.

However, Michael La Roe, director of business development for the company (called one2believe, based in Valencia, California) expressed himself thusly:

…the charity’s decision left him “surprised and disappointed.”

“The idea was for them to be three-dimensional teaching tools for kids,” La Roe said. “I believe as a churchgoing person, anyone can benefit from hearing the words of the Bible.”

I do see both sides, you know. Because the Marines work for the federal government, they can’t espouse one religion over another. Toys For Tots is a Marine-founded charity. Therefore, if you add one plus one, you get no talking Jesus Christ action figures.

However, I understand Mr. LaRoe’s statement about how uplifting these gifts could be.

So…why can’t Mr. LaRoe donate these dolls to another charity? Better yet, donate them to local churches. If he cares so much about children receiving the word, donate them to an entity more fitting.

However, I can envision what would happen to these suckers if I’d received one as a child.

Let’s go back in time, shall we? *insert appropriate sound/visual effects here*

It’s 1977, and your favorite protagonist is sitting by the Christmas tree, ripping open Yuletide gifts. I’m anxiously awaiting a Mod Hair Ken, and I find a box that vaguely resembles the Mod Hair Ken box. I shred the paper as I open the present, and there it is…a Jesus Christ doll that says 24 different things.

Mom and Dad smile beatifically upon their youngest daughter and ask “Well, what do you think?”

The youngest daughter starts to cry…she can’t win, even at Christmas. Soon after that, the talking Jesus Christ doll mysteriously winds up in the doghouse, where it’s chewed to ribbons while proclaiming eternal love to all.

So the moral of the story is…better think twice about that talking Jesus Christ doll unless it does something else, like laugh or explode.

That’s all for now!

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