Comments on: Anti-Bullying Laws in Oregon May Be Revised

By: Ben Leichtling

Ben Leichtling — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 22:50:37 +0000

Hi Ms. Pickles,

Sometimes that is just what it takes to stop bullies.

When I coach people in how to stop bullies, I ask them to imagine a staircase. We start at the bottom with peaceful methods and slowly walk up the staircase getting firmer and firmer. Bullies will tell you how high you have to go before they quit.

In your brother’s case, I’ll bet (hope) that the bully quit bullying after that.

Obviously the responsible adults hadn’t been responsible; they hadn’t stopped it all that time.

I had the same experience as your brother and describe it in “Parenting Bully-Proof Kids.”

Glad Oregon is moving toward better laws. I wish all states were.

Best wishes,
Ben

By: ♥~Ms.Pickles~♥ (CALL THE SHOW 3PM CST)

♥~Ms.Pickles~♥ (CALL THE SHOW 3PM CST) — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 18:55:37 +0000

Hi Ben..I come from ORegon and I hate to say that its true there are alot of bullied kids here…and to make it worse the ones I grew up with are just as bad as adults as they were kids. My brother went to Hillsboro ORegon schools his whole education career, he was bullied by one boy from elementary school all the way to Jr.High….my brother just let most of it roll off his back till one day in Shop Class in Jr.High the boy was doing his usual picking on my brother then wham my brother turned around and cole cocked the kid and broke his nose. I know thats not the right route to remedying this type of thing…but like all other states ORegon does have its bullies and I am glad to hear they are taking the steps to being pro-active and trying to solve the issue. As a parent with school aged children…its nice to see the effort being put out by the state of ORegon!

By: Ben Leichtling

Ben Leichtling — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 04:46:28 +0000

Dear Heart,

Thank you for your kind words.

As I show in my books and CDs of case studies, “How to Stop Bullies in their Tracks” and “Parenting Bully-Proof Kids,” bullies are not all the same, but their patterns of behavior, their tactics, are the same. That’s why we can find ways to stop most of them.

By the way, my first book, “Bullies Below the Radar: How to Wise Up, Stand Up and Stay Up,” tells the case study of a woman who recognized her husband as a stealth bully (sneaky, covert, manipulative, controlling). He wouldn’t change and she managed to get away.

Good for you also.

Best wishes,
Ben

By: heart

heart — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 03:50:29 +0000

Thank you for writing this article. And BIG THANKS too for writing your book. I know what bullying is, from a former husband. It can happen in a marriage too.

Yes they do misread kindness and empathy for weakness. Amazing, isn’t it? Two different worlds …

I am proud of my state taking steps to make things better for our children.

Will check your web site out later. Have to do things now.

Thank you so much for doing all you do!