National Lampoon's Stoned Age - Unrated

I’ve read that cavemen movies are supposed to be very anthropological and can be real expositions of the human condition and all that.  I’ve only seen a couple and I’m not sure what I thought.  Nonetheless, there’s one out now that certainly misses both of those points.

Starting this January 20th, now available on DVD from National Lampoon and Paramount Studios Home Entertainment comes a tale about invention and fitting in at the dawn of humanity.  National Lampoon’s Stoned Age – Unrated is ready to lumber out of your television screen and fill your living room with an unfunny version of our prehistoric past.  Bring home this sophomoric and wholly nonsensical film today!

Ishbo is a Neanderthal who loves to think and invent.  He is not comfortable with the brutality and unthinking way of life he sees around him.  His father is the chief and wants him to be more like his brother.  Ishbo can’t, so he creates pants and ladders and a sun visor.  He is in love with Fardart, but she ends up marrying his brother.  Now his tribe is set to go to war and he thinks it’s going to be a disaster.  What else can possibly go wrong?

This disc is absolutely loaded down with special features.  They include featurettes from photo shoots for both Penthouse and Maxim, a featurette about love and cavemen, a selection of deleted scenes, a bunch of viral videos, a look at gay cavemen, a Q&A with Adam Rifkin, a whole load of bloopers and outtakes, a comic book and an optional audio commentary from Adam Rifkin.

Just because they came up with a funny title to this movie does not mean it was something they had to hoist on humanity.  If the main character actually smoked a lot of weed, it might actually make sense.  Weed occupies maybe 30 seconds total and not more than two jokes, so why the title?  There were only two truly funny parts in this film and the rest was interminable dross.  The first was with the naked old man who craps in his hand and the other was the dream where Ishbo is a mastodon.  In over an hour and a half of fighting and running and poop and Amazonian women, that’s all the memorable material we are left with.  Who says we’re an advanced people?  Adam Rifkin is completely terrible in his role, it’s embarrassing to watch the great David Carradine debase himself, Ali Larter is nowhere near as sexy in this film as I think we all hoped and I am also completely convinced that Gary Busey wasn’t even scheduled to be in the film, he just happened to wander into the shoot wearing his normal clothes and they
decided to just roll with it.  I am appalled that this is the shallow depth of comedies that National Lampoon is now releasing.

You’d better be Stoned to watch this god-awful film.

This DVD is available at Amazon.com.

Nathaniel Jonet

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