Your heartrending tale would make a great short story or a made-for-TV movie. It’s a fantastic vision of good versus evil and in the end the tormented Sweet Tatum Purebred is prevails in seeing these evil mean girls expelled from their evil private school Shangri-La and sued and made to go to some horrible public high school is some affluent suburb of NYC or Atlanta, or Boston. The problem is that your tall tale is merely a fictionalized account of the story and bears little resemblance to the facts of the case. The original story filed in the Hartford Courant was skewed enough. Now you have prepared it for a pitch to a movie studio. Bravo. Peer abuse is bad, but so is lying and cheating and fabrication designed to promote a selfish cause (yours and that of the Bass family).

WheresTheShame, I thank you for your time to comment. Also, for visiting my site. My purpose in this was to make others aware of the abuse that these girls are dishing out to Tatum. This has to do with right and wrong and what they did to Tatum was wrong. It was abusive behavior and people need to see that for what it is; ABUSE. No agendas or any of that. Have a good week…..

Take Care,
Elizabeth

WTS, when a group uses the name of a Russian group associated with torture in the 16th century, it raises concerns. When they humiliate her repeatedly, it raises concerns. Tatum goes from being a good student to having stress and anxiety? Yes, this leaves a lot of concerns. I probably do not know the whole thing and am going on what I know. However, when someone is suffering like this at the hands of others, it does raise a lot of concerns. There is no excuse for anyone to inflict that sort of pain onto others. Yet why do people continue to excuse it?

I am always proposing solutions to this problem as I help people daily with it. Nobody is trying to be “sensational” or “seeking attention” or any of that. I am trying to raise awareness of what is a serious problem in this nation. When a group dubs themselves after a group that was known for torture, yes, it leaves me with a lot of concerns.

You seem to be an insider into all of this. If what the media is saying is wrong and not getting the whole story, why don’t you enlighten us on what is really occuring here? Help set the record straight?

Thisson, I understand and my intent was not to judge anyone. Just simply commenting on what has already been written and leaving my professional opinion. Pointing out situations dealing with bullying in this situation.

Again, if you are insiders, why don’t you let everyone know what the real story is since we are all getting it wrong?

Elizabeth you wrote:

“Just simply commenting on what has already been written and leaving my professional opinion.”

Yet, what has “already been written thus far” is *entirely* based upon allegations by a plaintiff in a civil lawsuit. I don’t think WTS is disagreeing with your sentiments regarding bullying, but is concerned that in treating the allegations as factual you are perpetuating an as of now unproven view of various entities named in the lawsuit. Does bullying occur at high schools across the nation? Clearly it does. Is it a problem? I bet it is. But it is unhelpful to drag people through the mud before getting the facts straight. If this turns out to be false, or very overly exaggerated, an anti-child bullying advocate such as yourself will simply lose general credibility because you believed it from the start. In other words, it hurts your cause, and doesn’t help it. Just a word of advice. Regards.

Sue McDaniel, I am sorry you had to go through that but glad your school stepped up. There are so many in this nation that don’t step up and its sad.

RTJ, thank you also for your feedback, it is appreciated. I will be following this story closely and will write my opinion of it as it unfolds. If you go back and check, I also asked WTS to clear up any misinformation that is out there about this story.

Marquis, I thank your time as well.

Have a good holiday season

Okay, okay….I hear you all….

To anyone I may have offended on here, I sincerely apologize. My intent was not to slander, upset or discredit Miss Porters school in any way. I have seen many alumni from the school online stating there are no facts from the media, nobody knows what is going on with this story etc. My intent was not to upset anyone with my blog or make anyone look bad without having facts.

As for “The Oprichnicki”, I understand it is a group of seniors at the school appointed during the spring of their junior year to aid in the school and help others on campus. They do good things, I get it. At the same time, the name is the same as a 16th century Russian czar group that did not do good things. When anyone who is not affiliated with Miss Porters sees that name at first, whether it be the media, me or anyone else, it does raise concerns. It did with me but again, that is my opinion. I am entitled to one as you are. I am glad to know that this is a group that is about doing good in the school.

My intent with this blog and with this story itself was the fact that this girl was bullied and was seen by a doctor for stress and anxiety. I understand she was expelled and cheated on a test. Regardless of that, my intent here was to leave my take on the bullying that occured and the fact that this can happen to those of privledge along with those who are not as fortunate. It can happen in every class of people and anywhere. But my main point was to discuss the bullying. If you read my previous blogs, you will see my intent was and is to raise awareness of this serious problem in society. People need to be educated on this serious subject and they are not. We are getting there but if people do not speak out, how will others get educated?

My concern is for Tatum Bass. Nobody wants to be friends with the Bass family or anyone affiliated with the school. Just because the family is from my home state does not mean I am trying to be friends or am even affiliated with them. I would not know them if I saw them. However, if Tatum has suffered, she deserves compassion. The well being of this young lady is not good and as a human being, I do have concerns for her. I am human and feel for others who are in pain. When someone is bullied, I do get very concerned. Its who I am.

Please understand that people are going to have opinions and may different from yours. You do not need to “discredit” me for writing my opinion and trying to educate others on this serious subject. This blog is posted to raise awareness of bullying and peer abuse. Not to sensationalize Miss Porters or any of this. Nobody has hidden agendas or is trying to write this for selfish reasons. If you knew me as a person, you would see and know that.

Again, I apologize for offending you all. My intent was not to cyberbully, upset, discredit, slander or anything against Miss Porters school or its students there. The purpose of this blog and others I have written are for the simple fact that bullying can happen anywhere and within any group of people. Its about education and not trying to be malicious or slanderous or any of that. My intent was never to hurt or upset anyone. I can assure you.

At the same time, and know this is not a slam at anyone or the school, people are entitled to have opinions. They are going to differ from yours. This world is made up of many different people from different walks of life. They interpret information differently and see things from different views. I can accept your opinion of me and what I wrote. At the same time, without anyone trying to discredit or upset anyone, please accept mine as well. If the info we have is not what is fact, please do what you can to enlighten everyone to this. We write opinion pieces on what is given to us. I understand the media gets it wrong but lawsuits and other such matters are of public record. There is no dispute to that. Again, if we do not have any facts, please share what is factual so we do know.

Anyway, I hope this clears things up. Again, I sincerely apologize if I hurt anyone or gave the impression that I was trying to discredit Miss Porters in any shape, form or fashion. That was not my intent at all. I hope this helps give a better understanding of where I am coming from and clears a lot up. I am concerned about Tatum Bass and will be following this story closely. As for Miss Porters and everyone involved, I wish only the best for all. Have a good and safe week…

Take Care,
Elizabeth Bennett

Okay, I appreciate your opinion but nobody was intending to slander or upset anyone. I have apologized for my actions and was going to remove the blogs online about this as well once time permitted. However, I am feeling abused now. I am feeling very cyberbullied by you.

I am ending this now. I refuse to engage further with you. Before you jump to conclusions yourself, make threats about my credibility, give me a hard time for even having an opinion, look at yourself and your own abusive behavior. I admitted my wrong doing and you wish to keep this going evidently. I am not perfect by any stretch and admitted my wrong doing on here. You wish to keep this going evidently. I choose not to. I have apologized for upsetting anyone in this. It was not my intent.

Have a good holiday and a nice life. As for this, I am done.

Regards,
Elizabeth

I am a current MPS student. The facts, just so we all know (and I’m not trying to attack anyone here or defending bullying etc; I simply want to present the facts because you all do seem to care):

The “Oprishniki,” as it is spelled at MPS, is a group of senior girls appointed by their predecessors to be keepers of the traditions. They are not a secret society. They are not a clique. And they don’t appear every day – only 4 or 5 times a year right before a tradition. In many ways, they are supposed to be a group of leaders in the community. As a close-knit community, traditions are an integral part of Miss Porter’s and fosters a welcoming environment for all girls, New Girls especially.
In recent years there has been much debate over the existence of the Oprishniki because Tatum is right; they do represent an underlying sense of bullying. A group of girls who dress up in all black goth in order to look menacing does not sound like a very welcoming group of girls – agreed. As such, the name as well as their presentation was changed about three years ago to “The Keepers” for The Keepers of Tradition. They were also forbidden to dress up as goths; rather they now have to wear appropriate “Big D” clothing, which in MPS terms, is formal dress. Sometimes the girls get carried away in remembrance of what used to be by teasing their hair, but chains and heavy make-up are no longer allowed. They are also not allowed to look menacing as they used to; rather they are supposed to act just as they would any other day of the week. This change occurred during Tatum’s second semester of her freshman year. Therefore, I am puzzled over why

I am a current MPS student. The facts, just so we all know (and I’m not trying to attack anyone here or defending bullying etc; I simply want to present the facts because you all do seem to care):

The “Oprishniki,” as it is spelled at MPS, is a group of senior girls appointed by their predecessors to be keepers of the traditions. They are not a secret society. They are not a clique. And they don’t appear every day – only 4 or 5 times a year right before a tradition. In many ways, they are supposed to be a group of leaders in the community. As a close-knit community, traditions are an integral part of Miss Porter’s and fosters a welcoming environment for all girls, New Girls especially.

In recent years there has been much debate over the existence of the Oprishniki because Tatum is right; they do represent an underlying sense of bullying. A group of girls who dress up in all black goth in order to look menacing does not sound like a very welcoming group of girls – agreed; I am not denying MPS has had its fair share of bullying issues. As such, the name as well as their presentation was changed about three years ago to “The Keepers” for The Keepers of Tradition. They were also forbidden to dress up as goths; rather they now have to wear appropriate “Big D” clothing, which in MPS terms, is formal dress. Sometimes the girls get carried away in remembrance of what used to be by teasing their hair, but chains and heavy make-up are no longer allowed. They are also not allowed to look menacing as they used to; rather they are supposed to act just as they would any other day of the week. This change occurred during Tatum’s second semester of her freshman year.

Therefore, I am puzzled over why the newspaper articles are referring to them as Oprishniki when Tatum knows better than that. The Oprishniki as they once were no longer exist today. The history of the oprishniki began many decades ago for the only purpose of preserving traditions at Porter’s. I believe it wasn’t until the 70s when the Oprishniki began to take on a more menacing role until it got out of hand and was finally changed three years ago. Again, I am not denying that MPS has had its fair share of harassment issues, but the administration has been doing everything they can to eliminate those issues for the past decade. I know when the Oprishniki was going through change three years ago, many upperclassmen opposed it only because that is how proud MPS students are of their traditions.

Thus, I can understand why some girls opposed Tatum’s decision to hold an inter-school prom. For one, I think it’s a great idea because having an all-girls prom is kind of lame. But then there are some who have a lot of pride for MPS and believe prom should be celebrated only amongst the community friends, which also makes a lot of sense.

As for the allegations for all the bullying Tatum experienced, MPS is known for very opinionated young women and we therefore voice our opinions whenever we can. I did not see it as bullying and nobody made fun of her ADD. Many people at the school and around the world have ADD. Many people are on financial aid, both partial and full, myself included. Most importantly, everyone is treated equally. We do not make fun of each other for whatever disadvantages we have.

The “For Rent” sign that was “placed” on her things in her room was actually already in her room as part of her decorations. She’s had that sign for a while. Nobody placed it there to bully her.

Finally, MPS has a one chance policy for cheating. Tatum cheated three times. I’m sure you can do the math. Everyone else I know who has cheated was expelled after their second offense. Having already been lenient to her, the administration was simply following policy. That policy also includes putting it on academic records which are sent to colleges.

So those are the facts. As a student of MPS, I am very saddened by the libel in the articles. Tatum was a great classmate and was proud of MPS. She defended the school when Curtis Sittenfield came to the school to speak after she had written an article against all boarding schools. I am also saddened by what people have been writing in other blogs on something they do not understand. MPS students are not rich, snotty, spoiled brats. We are in fact a very diverse group of intelligent girls. Everyone respects their classmates no matter what their circumstances.

In time, the facts will come to light and those who have wronged will be justly punished, whomever and however that may be.

I have seen stories about this online and on t.v. The pictures they show of those *Keepers of Tradition* show them dressed in all black, holding a staff with a skull (probably fake) on it and wearing chains and such…trying to look menacing judging by their body postures. Those pictures were, according to reporters taken THIS school year.
My parents tried to send me to boarding school when I was a teen. I purposely screwed up the interviews, so, happily, I got to attend an excellent public school in a rural area of Virginia Never had a problem getting into college or university, had scholarships to several.
The thing is, all these girls would run home crying if dropped into a regular public school (better yet, an inner city school).
We are raising these girls to be *elite*–which will be worthless to them the first time they encounter groups out of their social strata that will not be impressed by their money or their parents status.
I have lived everywhere from a tent to a mansion to a cabin 40 miles from the nearest town. I raised my kids to be tough and not to allow themselves to be *bullied*.
That’s part of the problem…people turn to lawyers and the courts to settle their problems rather than defend themselves. If the first girl that had *bullied* this girl been “called out” by her, it would have stopped–then and there. Bullies travel in packs because they are cowards. Separate one from the pack and make an example of them and the rest of the pack runs away. Saw it happen more than once.
For pity’s sake, raise your kids (sons and daughters) to have the courage to stand up for themselves. Teach your children to think for themselves rather than follow the *herd mentality*. Quit labeling them with catch all terms like *ADD*, *ADHD* and *bi-polar*, which any well trained, competent neurologist or psychiatrist will tell you are catch-all terms that mean your child’s doctor was too lazy to do the testing to find an underlying physical problem.
Elizabeth, leave your blog up. You are providing a view that may not be popular, but is a different view. Not all different views are *libelous*. And the person that told you that…is a bully trying to scare you into changing your thoughts with a threat.
As for the MPS girls…including Tatum…toughen the hell up. It is a harsh world out there and your parents status or money won’t always protect you. Learn real world skills–cook for yourselves, learn to butcher wild game, take up primitive camping. With the economy tanking and jobs drying up–including those lucrative CEO positions–you may have to live on a different scale than you thought you would. And please, learn to stand up for yourselves without a lawyer!

To Lamb,

Just FYI, I saw those pictures too. They were taken three years ago. Reporters were obviously wrong. No surprise there. Although you are entitled to your opinions, I believe it’s better to judge if one is more informed. I think we all know that some reporters can fudge things and make things up in order to make a more interesting story. I’m not saying I know everything either, but at least I go to the school and have seen what’s been going on, and therefore would know more than say, those who don’t go to the school.

And also, most of the girls come from “regular public school.” It’s not like we all went to private schools all our lives. Furthermore, I’m from Brooklyn, so yes, I know inner city school systems. I did not cry when I attended school there. I do not cry when I go home to visit my friends. I am actually proud to be the oldest child responsible for 7 other siblings. I came to Porter’s because I knew I would be open to more opportunities, which so far has happened. I know I can’t speak for all the girls at MPS (but then neither can you…), but I believe I am one touch chick.

I’m not denying many girls here at MPS need to toughen up, and certainly some do fall on their parents. But the fact is, not all of us are like that. Most aren’t. But certainly, MPS trains us all to become more independent minded. As such, I am simply asking for people to not stereotype.

I do agree, however, that Tatum’s family should not have filed a lawsuit, although right now, I’d rather not divulge my opinions.

I hope you would take what I have to say to heart. I really don’t intend to cause any offense. I am simply trying to inform everyone of my own personal experience as an insider of the situation. As such, I take offense when people make misinformed judgments and I therefore wish everyone would stop and reflect before angrily posting. That is all I strive to do.

NY Times wrote a story about this …

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/22/fashion/22preps.html

Next thing you know the Bass family will be interviewed by Matt Lauer just like Billy Wolfe was last year.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23807286/

I’m an MPS alumna from the 80′s and I was hazed – especially as a New Girl. It shocked me that the school permitted Traditions to be a “cover” for hazing. The only true Tradition that did not involve any sort of hazing was the Singings in the Garden.

I’m long past that time, and while the Tatum Bass thing is a bit ridiculous (cheat for ANY reason and you should be expelled), the myth that the Oprishniki (whom we always just called the Terrible 10) are sweet “keepers of tradition” must be a joke. All black and just for fun? Yeah, I remember that “fun.” I remember having to pretend to solicit men on Main Street, getting screamed at by Old Girls in the basement of Keep, having to kiss an Old Girl’s ring after crawling across the floor to her, being forced to sing an obscene song to an AOF boy in the gym during Mink v. Possum…. it goes on and on.

I wish I had known how wrong the treatment I received at the hands of my classmates was, but I was only 14 at the time. I never told a soul for years because we were sworn to secrecy. It was horrid, it was cruel, and it was wrong.

I’m sure things have changed in 20 years – I hope that they have. But I would think twice about letting my children attend any boarding school. Teens should be at home with their families, not living at a school in another state or another country. Yes, MPS gave me opportunities, but now without some scars, and in the long run, I would have done just as well, if not better, if I’d stayed in school in my hometown.

@Porter’s2011 – Glad to hear things have changed but from what I’ve heard from faculty and staff many things have remained the same. The intimidation, the threats, the traditions are all still there. There are bullies in every group, but the difference is is it tolerated, even accepted? or is it shut down and the perpetrators punished.

Does it really matter if it was a joke or not? I saw strong girls reduced to tears as they were berated, humiliated, and screamed at in public. Ha ha, so funny. It’s really funny to be forced to do pelvic thrusts on the gym floor as you sing an obscene song to a boy you don’t know as he and the other girls laugh at you. If you’ll note in my post, I never said a word to anyone. My mother thought the experiences were so wonderful, and when I got my ring she was so happy for me, but I was in tears, not of joy, but of relief because now, finally, the endless berating would end.

What the heck do you know about the 80′s? If you’re a current student, you weren’t even born then. Not the school’s fault? The administration knew, the teachers knew, even the janitors knew. It was swept under the rug consistently by the Headmistress, who knew everything that happened in her school.

I wouldn’t be the same if I’d gone to a different school, you’re right. But I would’ve still gotten in to my University, had a similarly successful career, earned multiple post-graduate degrees, married my soul mate, and raised my children. Because my core values never changed.

If you’d ever experienced one tenth of what we experienced, you wouldn’t be so rude and dismissive, or “sad” that traditions have changed. Acknowledge that our alma mater has some ugly scars. Nasty things happened, and I’m sure that nasty things continue to happen that remain unspoken.

Talk to me in ten years when you’ve left high school, graduated from college, started a career – and realized how small and petty much of the Farmington experience was. Better yet, come talk to me in twenty five years, when you’re considering sending off your fourteen year old daughter to live away from home most of the time. Farmington’s our home… for girls who have no other home to go to.

Good luck to you.