A Bully Grows Worse
Well, another week and another entry. I was reading in my Google Alerts about an article entitled Workplace Bullies are Costly and was I glad to see this. I was glad because it is time that more is said and done about bullying in the workplace. We focus so much on the schools and getting the kids educated yet we hardly if ever focus upon the problem in the workplace. One reason could be that people probably assume that these childhood bullies outgrow their behavior? Or that its not a big deal with adults like it is with kids? There are many myths out there I know but one thing is for certain. Bullies do NOT grow up but grow worse. Yes, they get more pathological, methodical and sophisticated in their techniques. Trust me, this problem exists; I lived in twice at work. I am well aware of the realities occuring here.
A colleague of mine, Dr. Gary Namie, has been speaking out against this problem for quite some time. He has stated that the bully is trying to put fear into targets and other employees. Also, he tries to weed out the best employees and set them up to fail. Also, he describes the four types of workplace bullies. The first being the Screaming Mimi’s who give a lot of verbal abuse and make sure others are on their side so they do not get bullied themselves. Another is the Constant Critic who does his dirty deeds behind closed doors. He will tear the victim down bit by bit so that person comes to believe he is actually incompetent and unworthy of being at the job. Another one is the Two Headed Snake. This one will try and be your best friend to your face but is out to break you down behind your back. Finally there is a Gatekeeper and this one is one who can withhold any funding or anything where the target is involved so he will fail.
Folks, is this really productive? How can people even work with all of this going on? Not only do companies loose all kinds of money but employees are being fired unjustly. Not only that but they are developing problems such as PTSD, situational depression and anxiety. Who can blame them? A bully will do anything to tear down another without the blink of an eye. Why can’t people just go to work and do a job without all of this crap? So many companies and organizations are in denial and refuse to do anything. If companies have a code of conduct, why can’t a clause about Peer Abuse be added in there? Folks, this is outright abusive behavior! Your abusers are tearing down their victims everyday. People are being affected by this garbage! Why can’t people just go to work, do a job and go home? Why do people have to horn in on others work? Do they not have enough work to do themselves? Most importantly, why can’t we get educated and crawl out of the denial that exists? We are taking the time to teach the children so what is wrong with educating ourselves in our own backyards?
If there is one thing I hope people learn it is that bullies do not grow up but they grow worse. Its time to get educated and put a stop to this once and for all. We have enough stress in this world, must we add to it?
Resource Cited: http://www.tulsaworld.com/business/article.aspx?articleID=20081026_46_E1_DrGary301220&allcom=1#commentform
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .
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6 users commented in " Bullies Do Not Grow Up: They Grow Worse "
Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackRead Desmond Morris “Naked Ape” and you begin
to understand why Bullies exist. Its just more
proof we’re no different than other primates.
Human DNA is 97% chimpanzee & in primate society the tallest, baddest monkey rules.
To succeed in the workplace, its like the ruler
of Libya, Omar Kadafhi,says “I’m surrounded by
wolves- To rule I have to be the baddest wolf.”
Is our workplace any different?
Looking for any good thing to come out of it you have to be proficient to fend off all the prowling sharks, punch them in the kisser (technically) and they go elsewhere to seek out a weaker victim- Is it part of the
weeding out process? Dunno’but its a problem.
Hi Roger, thanks for your reply. This makes sense but at the same time, we are born with the ability to know right and wrong. Have capabilites that chimps or other primates do NOT have.
People try to understand and even excuse bullies for who they are. Sorry but no dice. There is no excuse for that sort of behavior in my opinion. Yes, its a serious problem in this nation. Its a serious problem, period.
Thanks again for your feedback, its much appreciated. Have a good week…..
Take Care,
Elizabeth
http://www.peerabuse.info
Thanks for the post Elizabeth.
Workplace bullies are school yard bullies grown bigger, nastier and slicker at creating pain, and justifying and defending themselves. They’re sneakier and more manipulative. They criticize relentlessly, spread rumors, backstab, take other people’s credit and extort obedience. They destroy teamwork, morale and productivity.
Ignoring the problem or begging, bribery or appeasement simply reinforce low attitudes and behavior at all levels. A major part of the problem are conflict-avoidant leaders, managers and co-workers who think that if we all talk nicely to each other or try to make bullies feel better, they’ll stop bullying or forming bullying cliques.
HR and unions usually won’t help unless it suits their interests at the moment. Of course it’s easier to stop bullies if someone at the top wants to wipe out bullying, but it’s not hopeless even if you can’t find a protector.
Often, the strong and clear voice of an outside consultant and coach can stop bullying behavior or empower managers and staff to remove these bullies. I’ve helped companies and even non-profits and government agencies create and maintain behavioral standards (team agreements, ground rules for professional behavior) that promote productivity and decrease destructive turnover (the business case for the company).
Also, individuals need 1-1 coaching to design effective tactics to fit their specific situations; not to be a better bully, but to catch bullies with smoking guns and with good documentation so you can shine a light on them. You may also need some leverage to get the company to act.
As I show in my books and CDs of case studies, “Eliminate the High Cost of Low Attitudes” and “How to Stop Bullies in their Tracks,” bullies are not all the same, but their patterns of behavior, their tactics, are the same. That’s why we can find ways to recognize and stop them.
If we don’t stop bullies, they’ll think we’re easy prey. Like sharks, they’ll just go after us more.
Don’t think like a helpless victim. Have the strength of character, courage, determination, resilience and skill our ancestors must have had in order to survive far worse than we face now.
Best wishes,
Ben
What can a woman do that has suffered severe abuse by bullies in work place. also supported abuse of management. person is targeted and has written documents to prove it need a good lawyer pro bono. live in victoria bc canada situation urgent
would like to connect with simon in writer article above cant get into program could someone have simon contact me for story urgent
Bullys have the same destructive effect on a child as a pedophile and should be prosecuted to the same extent. In both cases there is a deep and destructive change in the victim which last all their life.
Bullys should be registered like sex offenders, they do not stop or change, they just become more skilled and cunning.
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