http://www.bloggernews.net/117092 High-quality English language analysis and editorial writing on the news. Tue, 24 Nov 2009 06:03:34 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 http://www.bloggernews.net/117092#comment-1415352 buggie Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:28:14 +0000 http://www.bloggernews.net/117092#comment-1415352 I don't know if it is too late to comment on this, but I'm going to try because I really need some advice on this exact situation I'm going through. My partner and I had a daughter who is now 2 years old. Our relationship went really sour and we broke up almost 3 weeks ago. I've only been allowed to see her once in that time. She said she'd never keep my daughter away from me because I'm a very good mother to her and she couldn't do that to either one of us. She is now showing her true colors because she is now no longer allowing me to see her. Let me back up and start from the beginning... My partner and I had a child, she carried, I paid. Anytime I told her I was going down to adpot her, she would convince me otherwise to use the money on other things we needed for the house or to pay off her credit cards first. She also said not to worry that she'd never keep or daughter away from me. And I believed her. Our relationship started realy going downhill about a year and a half ago when back in Feb she was fired. It was my last straw in dealing with her verbal abuse and her taking advantage of me. She refused to get another job, or made "half-assed" attempts just to shut me up. She was enjoying being the "stay at home mom" while I made all the money and worked so much overtime to compensate her joblessness. Yet it NEVER was ok with me that she go on this way. It is now sept and she's still jobless. Now that I'm no longer in the house she wants me to pay her enough so she can pay for a place and take care of our daughter. Now she knows I have no rights what so ever since she never let me adopt her. But also that she has no right to my money either. So now she is basically usung my love for our 2 year old daughter against me by holding her hostage and trying to use her to bribe me into giving her a rediculous amout of money to only see her twice a month for a day. She is making it extremely clear that our daughter is "her kid" and that she will "allow" me to see her for the right price. My heart is torn and breaking! I am basically faced with the decision of whether or not it'd be better to walk away now or wait for her to meet someone else in which she will just phase me out later on. Knowing this is the situation and the fact that it is too late to adopt her anymore and no chance of getting any legal rights over her, I am trying to make this decision. I know if I left now my daughter will eventually forget about me, she's only 2, rather than her phasing me out later when she meets someone else that wants to care for her when my daughter is older and will then remember me and her have to explain it to a 5, 6, 7 year old. I know that she loves her and wants to do right by her, but she doesn't have as strong a background or support system to raise her the way I want to. She is extremely sweet and such a good girl it's breaking my heart that she STILL sleeps in bed with her other mother (even though I got her sleeping in her crib TWICE) and not going to bed until after midnight because she won't go to bed until monma does. My other gripe is that not even one week after the big break when I had her for the day, she went out and partied all day. She asked me to drop her off at 10pm at her firned party. I refused and met her at the house at 9pm (compromised the time) where I met her so drunk she couldn't get the key in the door hole. I stayed until they went to bed because she was in no condition to care for a child. Also someone else's belongings were in a big duffle bag in my house attempted to be hidden. I can not watch this behavior with my baby girl. Am I wrong for thinking the best thing for my daughter is to walk away? I have no rights at all and the most I can do is just watch her be raised this way. I miss her so much I am constantly crying, and I don't ever cry. Someone please help me!!!! I don’t know if it is too late to comment on this, but I’m going to try because I really need some advice on this exact situation I’m going through.
My partner and I had a daughter who is now 2 years old. Our relationship went really sour and we broke up almost 3 weeks ago. I’ve only been allowed to see her once in that time. She said she’d never keep my daughter away from me because I’m a very good mother to her and she couldn’t do that to either one of us. She is now showing her true colors because she is now no longer allowing me to see her. Let me back up and start from the beginning…
My partner and I had a child, she carried, I paid. Anytime I told her I was going down to adpot her, she would convince me otherwise to use the money on other things we needed for the house or to pay off her credit cards first. She also said not to worry that she’d never keep or daughter away from me. And I believed her.
Our relationship started realy going downhill about a year and a half ago when back in Feb she was fired. It was my last straw in dealing with her verbal abuse and her taking advantage of me. She refused to get another job, or made “half-assed” attempts just to shut me up. She was enjoying being the “stay at home mom” while I made all the money and worked so much overtime to compensate her joblessness. Yet it NEVER was ok with me that she go on this way. It is now sept and she’s still jobless. Now that I’m no longer in the house she wants me to pay her enough so she can pay for a place and take care of our daughter.
Now she knows I have no rights what so ever since she never let me adopt her. But also that she has no right to my money either. So now she is basically usung my love for our 2 year old daughter against me by holding her hostage and trying to use her to bribe me into giving her a rediculous amout of money to only see her twice a month for a day.
She is making it extremely clear that our daughter is “her kid” and that she will “allow” me to see her for the right price.
My heart is torn and breaking!
I am basically faced with the decision of whether or not it’d be better to walk away now or wait for her to meet someone else in which she will just phase me out later on. Knowing this is the situation and the fact that it is too late to adopt her anymore and no chance of getting any legal rights over her, I am trying to make this decision. I know if I left now my daughter will eventually forget about me, she’s only 2, rather than her phasing me out later when she meets someone else that wants to care for her when my daughter is older and will then remember me and her have to explain it to a 5, 6, 7 year old.
I know that she loves her and wants to do right by her, but she doesn’t have as strong a background or support system to raise her the way I want to. She is extremely sweet and such a good girl it’s breaking my heart that she STILL sleeps in bed with her other mother (even though I got her sleeping in her crib TWICE) and not going to bed until after midnight because she won’t go to bed until monma does.
My other gripe is that not even one week after the big break when I had her for the day, she went out and partied all day. She asked me to drop her off at 10pm at her firned party. I refused and met her at the house at 9pm (compromised the time) where I met her so drunk she couldn’t get the key in the door hole. I stayed until they went to bed because she was in no condition to care for a child. Also someone else’s belongings were in a big duffle bag in my house attempted to be hidden.
I can not watch this behavior with my baby girl. Am I wrong for thinking the best thing for my daughter is to walk away? I have no rights at all and the most I can do is just watch her be raised this way. I miss her so much I am constantly crying, and I don’t ever cry.
Someone please help me!!!!

]]> http://www.bloggernews.net/117092#comment-1415350 buggie Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:24:58 +0000 http://www.bloggernews.net/117092#comment-1415350 I don't know if it is too late to comment on this, but I'm going to try because I really need some advice on this exact situation I'm going through. My partner and I had a daughter who is now 2 years old. Our relationship went really sour and we broke up almost 3 weeks ago. I've only been allowed to see her once in that time. She said she'd never keep my daughter away from me because I'm a very good mother to her and she couldn't do that to either one of us. She is now showing her true colors because she is now no longer allowing me to see her. Let me back up and start from the beginning... My partner and I had a child, she carried, I paid. Anytime I told her I was going down to adpot her, she would convince me otherwise to use the money on other things we needed for the house or to pay off her credit cards first. She also said not to worry that she'd never keep or daughter away from me. And I believed her. Our relationship started realy going downhill about a year and a half ago when back in Feb she was fired. It was my last straw in dealing with her verbal abuse and her taking advantage of me. She refused to get another job, or made "half-assed" attempts just to shut me up. She was enjoying being the "stay at home mom" while I made all the money and worked so much overtime to compensate her joblessness. Yet it NEVER was ok with me that she go on this way. It is now sept and she's still jobless. Now that I'm no longer in the house she wants me to pay her enough so she can pay for a place and take care of our daughter. Now she knows I have no rights what so ever since she never let me adopt her. But also that she has no right to my money either. So now she is basically usung my love for our 2 year old daughter against me by holding her hostage and trying to use her to bribe me into giving her a rediculous amout of money to only see her twice a month for a day. She is making it extremely clear that our daughter is "her kid" and that she will "allow" me to see her for the right price. My heart is torn and breaking! I am basically faced with the decision of whether or not it'd be better to walk away now or wait for her to meet someone else in which she will just phase me out later on. Knowing this is the situation and the fact that it is too late to adopt her anymore and no chance of getting any legal rights over her, I am trying to make this decision. I know if I left now my daughter will eventually forget about me, she's only 2, rather than her phasing me out later when she meets someone else that wants to care for her when my daughter is older and will then remember me and her have to explain it to a 5, 6, 7 year old. I know that she loves her and wants to do right by her, but she doesn't have as strong a background or support system to raise her the way I want to. She is extremely sweet and such a good girl it's breaking my heart that she STILL sleeps in bed with her other mother (even though I got her sleeping in her crib TWICE) and not going to bed until after midnight because she won't go to bed until monma does. My other gripe is that not even one week after the big break when I had her for the day, she went out and partied all day. She asked me to drop her off at 10pm at her firned party. I refused and met her at the house at 9pm (compromised the time) where I met her so drunk she couldn't get the key in the door hole. I stayed until they went to bed because she was in no condition to care for a child. Also someone else's belongings were in a big duffle bag in my house attempted to be hidden. I can not watch this behavior with my baby girl. Am I wrong for thinking the best thing for my daughter is to walk away? I have no rights at all and the most I can do is just watch her be raised this way. Someone please help me!!!! I don’t know if it is too late to comment on this, but I’m going to try because I really need some advice on this exact situation I’m going through.
My partner and I had a daughter who is now 2 years old. Our relationship went really sour and we broke up almost 3 weeks ago. I’ve only been allowed to see her once in that time. She said she’d never keep my daughter away from me because I’m a very good mother to her and she couldn’t do that to either one of us. She is now showing her true colors because she is now no longer allowing me to see her. Let me back up and start from the beginning…
My partner and I had a child, she carried, I paid. Anytime I told her I was going down to adpot her, she would convince me otherwise to use the money on other things we needed for the house or to pay off her credit cards first. She also said not to worry that she’d never keep or daughter away from me. And I believed her.
Our relationship started realy going downhill about a year and a half ago when back in Feb she was fired. It was my last straw in dealing with her verbal abuse and her taking advantage of me. She refused to get another job, or made “half-assed” attempts just to shut me up. She was enjoying being the “stay at home mom” while I made all the money and worked so much overtime to compensate her joblessness. Yet it NEVER was ok with me that she go on this way. It is now sept and she’s still jobless. Now that I’m no longer in the house she wants me to pay her enough so she can pay for a place and take care of our daughter.
Now she knows I have no rights what so ever since she never let me adopt her. But also that she has no right to my money either. So now she is basically usung my love for our 2 year old daughter against me by holding her hostage and trying to use her to bribe me into giving her a rediculous amout of money to only see her twice a month for a day.
She is making it extremely clear that our daughter is “her kid” and that she will “allow” me to see her for the right price.
My heart is torn and breaking!
I am basically faced with the decision of whether or not it’d be better to walk away now or wait for her to meet someone else in which she will just phase me out later on. Knowing this is the situation and the fact that it is too late to adopt her anymore and no chance of getting any legal rights over her, I am trying to make this decision. I know if I left now my daughter will eventually forget about me, she’s only 2, rather than her phasing me out later when she meets someone else that wants to care for her when my daughter is older and will then remember me and her have to explain it to a 5, 6, 7 year old.
I know that she loves her and wants to do right by her, but she doesn’t have as strong a background or support system to raise her the way I want to. She is extremely sweet and such a good girl it’s breaking my heart that she STILL sleeps in bed with her other mother (even though I got her sleeping in her crib TWICE) and not going to bed until after midnight because she won’t go to bed until monma does.
My other gripe is that not even one week after the big break when I had her for the day, she went out and partied all day. She asked me to drop her off at 10pm at her firned party. I refused and met her at the house at 9pm (compromised the time) where I met her so drunk she couldn’t get the key in the door hole. I stayed until they went to bed because she was in no condition to care for a child. Also someone else’s belongings were in a big duffle bag in my house attempted to be hidden.
I can not watch this behavior with my baby girl. Am I wrong for thinking the best thing for my daughter is to walk away? I have no rights at all and the most I can do is just watch her be raised this way.
Someone please help me!!!!

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