Like other cheap horror film compilations, Morella’s Blood Vision, aÂ collection of three films from her show Graveyard Theater and the latest release from Retromedia DVD, features less-than-classic horror films presented by a tongue-in-cheek “hostess with the mostest” who knows as well asÂ anyoneÂ else that these films are laughable. And while Morella may not be the most charismatic hostess, though she does know how to flaunt her ample bosom, this collection of horror films doesn’t exactlyÂ necessitateÂ high-class introductions.
ThreeÂ ”bone chilling chillers” are included in this collection: Zombies (also known as I EatÂ Your Skin), The Blood Seekers and The Blood Stalkers.Â Each film is decidedly bad, but at least they’re uniquely bad.
The first (and oldest) film in the collection is Zombies, telling the story of an author/playboy who travels to a Caribbean island “so remote only one man knows its location” and discovers tribal sacrifices and a cover-up that can only be compared to an episode of Scooby Doo. There are actually a few decent scares here, mostly due to the black and white film masking much of the cheapness, and I actually think if this story was remade today with a little more money (and some better actors) it could have a chance to be be legitamately frightening. This one gets a C.
The Blood Seekers is next, originally filmed in black and white and then tinted to look like it’s in color, or what Morella calls, Super Spectra Chroma Color Vision. Our hostess is sure to remind us before this one starts that there are no refunds, and it’s a good thing she does. This is easily the weakest film of the bunch, centering around a mysterious group of vampiric murders and a detective brought to the Philippines andÂ hired to follow the clues and track down the killer. Let’s say a D+ is a kind grade.
The final film, sans introduction by Morella for some reason, is Blood Stalkers, a slowly paced mixture between The Hills Have Eyes and House of 1,000 Corpses. The grainy color film helps provide ambience to the story, but there’s not much plot to go on. A group of friends travels to a cabin in the Everglades to visit an old run-down cabin (and I do mean run-down) before being ambushed by a ragtag group of bumpkin thugs. The night scenes are hardly lit at all and the acting is pretty appalling, but there’s something about the grittiness of the film that’s endearing. C- for grainy film work… it’s the kind of feel that Rob ZombieÂ intentionally gaveÂ The Devil’s Rejects.
Overall, this is the kind of collection that only diehard horror fans will really dive into. All three of these films feel like they should have a Mystery Science Theatre commentary track providing background humor to some of the more obviously silly plot points. It’s an occassionally silly/ occassionally entertaining ride, but hey it’s all tongue-in-cheek and you don’t expect true horror when you buy a DVD that boasts “5 Hours Of Sleep Defying Thrills.”
Zach’s Rating:Â C
Perfect For: Making your own Mystery Science Theatre commentary with friends
Stay Away if: You’ve had your fill of low-quality horror films