Come on, people. You don’t have to be Adrian Monk to figure this one out. As soon as I read about how German government statisticians couldn’t explain the sudden disappearance of over one million Germans, I knew immediately what the deal was (and it was elementary, Watson, or whatever your name is): They’re obviously already crowding up at the Victory Column in Berlin’s Tiergarten to get the good “seats” for the giant Obama pep rally to take place here tomorrow.

Don’t these folks at the Federal Statistics Office in Wiesbaden know the first thing about German behavioral or misbehavioral idiosyncrasies? When on vacation, for instance, Germans are notorious for reserving “their” deckchairs with “their” beach towels at four in the morning so nobody else in the hotel ever gets a chance to snatch one. It only stands to reason then that being the entire German nation will be on vacation tomorrow to support “their” candidate (or at least that’s certainly the impression I get) and this being such a once-in-a-lifetime big deal thing (Germany has never bothered to welcome a non-President as a real President like this yet), well, the beach towels are already in place, so-to-speak.

I don’t even want to go there. To look to see, I mean. As a matter of fact, I won’t (don’t think I’ll be there tomorrow, either). I don’t even have to go there to look to know that they’re already there because, well, I can hear them breathing, so-to-speak again already.

At least the rest of us can go to bed tonight knowing that they will all be behaving themselves in good, clean fun during tomorrow’s Mini-Me Woodstock festivities because I have it from reliable German sources elsewhere that Obama’s speech is guaranteed to be absolutely, positively “substance-free” (wow, what a surprise). After all, the last thing we want from one million missing, screaming, hootin’ and hollerin’ Germans in the Tiergarten is substance abuse.

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

Be Sociable, Share!