Not actually being a cat, although I am the host for five of the furry little free-loaders, I thought I might turn this review over to them, as subject-matter experts: Percival, the little Russian Blue, Sammy, the big flame-point Siamese, Morgy (tiny and black, of no definable breed) Little Arthur (very large and black, ditto) and their head-cat, Henry VIII (very large, fluffy and grey, ditto)

Me: OK, what about this one – “I’m Having Kittens”

Percival and Sammy to each other: “Oh, yuck – breeders!”
Morgy: (slightly puzzled expression): We went to the vet for a cure for that, didn’t we?
Henry VIII – a single lordly yawn. Little Arthur is asleep.

Me: What do you think of this sequence: I Need to go outside – I need to go inside! I really need to go outside – No, hold on, I actually really need to go inside. – OK, OK, OK. Let’s start over. OK, what really needs to happen is, I need to go outside…. Et cetera, et cetera.”

Percival (shuddering delicately): I was outside once. I hated it.
Sammy (also shuddering): There are Things out there! Big things! Awful things!
Morgy: Outside? What is outside?
Henry VIII – another lordly yawn. Little Arthur is still asleep.

Me: Well, what about this one – I’m Thinking Deep Thoughts?

Percival: (brightly): Oh, like in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?!
Sammy: You are such a show-off!
Morgy: Mmmm. I’m thinking, I’m thinking!
Henry VIII – still another lordly yawn. Little Arthur rolls over with his back to me, still fast asleep.

Me: What about this one – “I’m worshipping you from afar”

Percival: I worship you from close-up!
Sammy: Suck-up!
Morgy: Is it time for supper yet?
Henry VIII: (licking his front paws and yawning) We consent to live in this hovel – isn’t that worship enough?
Little Arthur is still asleep.

Me: All right, what about this one – “I’m loaded on catnip”

Percival: (giggling)
Sammy: (giggling)
Morgy: (anxiously) Shouldn’t you just say no to kitty-crack?
Henry VII: (Settling himself in a lordly fashion on top of the printer) I am above such things.
Little Arthur is still asleep.

Me: OK, this one is relevant: “They got a dog”

Percival: You did, you heartless thing, you.
Sammy: And a noisy creature it is, too. I can barely get all my naps in without interruption.
Morgy: (Sits with her nose in the air) We are above noticing the dog.
Henry VIII: What dog?
Little Arthur is still asleep.

Me: Oh, last panel – “Get lost, I’m asleep” Will someone wake up Little Arthur, he’s missing this.

Percival: I can sleep with my eyes open!
Sammy: You are such a kiss-up!
Morgy: Leave him alone, he only got in 23 and a half hours of sleep yesterday.
Henry VIII: (yawns)
Little Arthur: Did someone say my name? Did someone offer me catnip?

Verdict: If you have cats, you will pretty well find this little book of sketches most amusing. And I have my cats’ permission to say so.

Everyday Cat Excuses is available from Amazon.com and other bookstores.

Sgt. Mom is a free-lance writer and member of the Independent Authors Guild who lives in San Antonio and blogs at The Daily Brief. Her current book “To Truckee’s Trail” is available here. Her next work, the Adelsverein Trilogy will be available in December, 2008. More about her books is at her website www.celiahayes.com.

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