Just when you think Ted Turner can’t possibly get any crazier than the wack job he’s always been, he spits out a lulu that absolutely blows you away. Case in point, in a recent interview with PBS’s Charlie Rose the topic of global warming came up and Turner’s outlook about what will happen if something isn’t done was rather unhinged:

“We’ll be eight degrees hotter in 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals. Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state — like Somalia or Sudan — and living conditions will be intolerable.”

Holy cow! Compared to this guy, Al Gore is seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. “An Inconvenient Truth” never even mentions the prospect of cannibalism.

Later in the interview, Turner admitted to Rose that he’s “always suffered from foot-in-the-mouth disease,” and then he added, “I’ve gotten a lot better, though. It’s been a long time since anybody caught me saying something stupid.”

Huh? Hel-lo-o! Earth to Ted. You just said that in a few decades the world will lay in post-apocalyptic ruin where most of humanity will have perished and the ones left will have become cannibals, all because of anthropogenic global warming. I can’t scream this loud enough: That qualifies as stupid! It is unimaginable, inconceivable stupidity on a perversely grandiloquent scale. It makes every stupid thing you’ve ever said sound like the epitome of carefully measured prudence. You’re busted, again, and you’re too clueless to even know you’re busted.

And yet, I’ve seen figures in oil paintings that were less impassive than Rose during Turner’s bug-eyed adumbration about a devastated world populated by cannibals. Perhaps he would have gotten more animated if Turner had said something really radical, like, say, all government funding for urban bike paths should be curtailed.

Turner also said in the interview that “we can’t win in Iraq. We’re being beaten by insurgents who don’t even have any tanks, they don’t have a headquarters, they don’t have a Pentagon, we don’t even know if they have any generals.”

I guess Turner hasn’t heard about that thing called the surge that has exceeded most expectations. Doesn’t matter, because according to Ted the insurgents are “patriots” who “don’t like us because we invaded their country and occupied it. Nobody likes to be invaded.”

But everybody loves being lorded over by a ruthless, mass-murdering totalitarian who maintains power through a never-ending reign of terror in which people are snatched up and imprisoned at will, children are tortured in front of their parents and people are dropped head first into shredding machines, right? What Iraqi “patriot” in his right mind would want to be liberated from that?

Keep it coming, Teddy. As maddening as it can be sometimes, we still love having you around.

Greg Strange provides conservative commentary with plenty of acerbic wit on the people, politics, events and absurdities of our time. See more at his website: http://www.greg-strange.com/.

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