Although millions of British vacationers have observed and openly criticized this phenomenon over the decades (as recently noted here, for instance), this appears to be the first time that German “bed bagging” has led to an international incident on the open seas. Well, technically speaking it was the mere mention of this “Germanic behavior” which led to the incident. But the captain of the ship did the mentioning, so there.

Genetically programmed to reserve deckchairs with their beach towels whenever and wherever they find them (whether they will actually be using the damned things later is of course quite another matter) Germans are understandably quite touchy about any reference made to this bizarre compulsive behavior of theirs. That is probably why it has become a kind of long-standing national joke for the British and is mentioned by them at every possible opportunity.

Unfortunately for Captain Chritopher Wells of the Oceana, a cruise ship on a 15-day visit to the Caribbean last month, a few humorless and politically correct human rights watchdog Spitzel (informant) types were on board his vessel taking notes when he jokingly announced that he did not want to see any of that kind of bed bagging “Germanic behaviour” aboard his ship (that’s right, this time behaviour is spelled with a u because he’s British, long-winded folks they are).

Captain Wells was then promptly accused of racism and something called the Equality and Human Rights Commission has now launched an inquiry into claims that he insulted the German nation which has apparantly never been done before. Well at least not out there on the high seas like that when it isn’t a warship, I mean.

His German wife was probably shocked at the comments herself as he most likely ripped them off from her. She has not yet decided to press charges, however.

Typisch Deutsch. Or was it typically British?

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