Reminds me of that Matchbox 20 song…

Whatever…yesterday, 29 February 2008, we were inundated with that silly political ad that insinuated Hillary Clinton (Presidential Nopeful, if I have my way) would be best to protect America while our kids are sleeping…at 3 AM.

From the safe confines of the White House foxholes, she will answer a phone…a white one at that. Sounds more like an airport courtesy phone if you ask me. She’s wearing a pantsuit…at 3 AM. But she will protect our children…by hook or by crook.

Meanwhile (fast forward reality Iraq), A Marine, soldier, freedom fighter and real protector of America’s children, while they are sleeping, is in a real foxhole, a green field phone sits by his side while his spousal unit stands by the side of his children ready to take on bad dreams or any other plethora of illnesses such as sore throat, bad cough, sickness in general etc…while mommy or daddy (read, not Hillary) stands at the ready to answer the green phone calling for the protection of America’s children….

It’s 3 AM…the green field phone remains silent…serene, peaceful.

Another meanwhile…the white courtesy phone rings. Commanderette Pantsuit answers with the proverbial “I’m here to protect your sleeping children (from the safe confines of the oral office, thanks Bill Clinton)…from terrorists, and of course those nasty Republicans who will try to steal my ability to do so by stealing my divine right to be President from me, and the common people I represent (i.e. waitresses I won’t tip)”. But, why is she only worried about protecting the children of Texas and Ohio (since the commercial only started airing the minute she really needed you guys). Last I checked the green field phone foxhole guy didn’t limit his choices (as if he had one) to just two states. Oh wait, he/she chose to represent and protect…well, America…

Correction…he had a choice, he volunteered…to protect America, but not just at 3 AM…

It’s 4 AM now…the sky is clear, the stars are pristine, the green field phone remains silent. Somewhere in America…a child sleeps. Meanwhile, Commanderette Pantsuit is prepping for Texas…

I’m a little bent…green field phone by my side, trusty M-16, locked and cocked…I can no longer resist. Shortly thereafter….”White House switchboard, how may I direct your call?”.

Wait, it’s 5 AM…is Hillary not protecting our country at this hour? “Yes, please connect me to the Commanderette in Relief”.

“You mean, the honorable Hillary Rodham Clinton? You should be worshipping her as Madam President Clinton, ya know.”

“Yeah, that’s the who I need to speak to…”

Click. Connect. “Madam President I’m here to protect you, why are you bothering me, have you heard about my mandatory, you pay regardless, healthcare program, Hillary RODHAM Clinton speaking!!! Speak, tool….!!”

“Mrs, Ms, Hillary, um whatever…not sure anymore…It’s 5 am over here in Iraq, I’m in a foxhole and I am using a green field phone so this may not come across very clearly, but if you are so interested in protecting the children of America, then why aren’t you demanding that Nancy Pelosi get her ass back from House vacation and produce a vote on the Protect America act….??”

…click…