“Sorry to call so late, Madame President, this is Vladimir Putin . . . . Please calm down . . . . This is obviously not a good time for you–let me speak with Chelsea.” Here are some reasons why you might prefer to have even Chelsea Clinton answer an emergency phone call at 3 a.m. instead of her mother.

—Chelsea is not one person today and a completely different person tomorrow. At least you know who is answering the phone. You don’t have to wonder whether you’re going to get Sugar-n-Spice Rodham Clinton, Teary-Eyed Rodham Clinton, or Rottweiler Rodham Clinton.

—Chelsea is not a consummate actress who goes nuclear over a couple of leaflets that present her opinions in an unflattering light.

—Chelsea appears to know who she is. She doesn’t look, act, or talk like someone restlessly in search of power to establish her identity.

—Chelsea is not trying to exploit the Jewish Community in a transparently phony attempt to sow discord between them and Barack Obama. As King Solomon wrote in the Hebrew scriptures, one of the things God hates is “he (she) who sows discord among brethren.”

—Chelsea does not keep lowering the bar of success for herself and raising the bar for an adversary.

—Chelsea, if she is as normal as she appears to be, can probably admit a mistake instead of trying to spin her way out of it.

—Chelsea is not shrill, angry, and unpredictable.

—Chelsea would know when she is out of her league and when to refer a phone call to someone with more expertise.

—Chelsea is not loaded down with baggage, some of it public and some of it guarded.

—Chelsea doesn’t spin like a ballerina with an ear infection.

So if you just must vote to continue the cycle of Bush and Clinton dynasties, what the heck? Write-in Chelsea. Her mother seems to have a hard time waking up.

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