Leaving the dangerous spacewalk and assembly work needed on the latest ISS mission to his American comrades, German astronaut Hans Schlegel has refused to leave the relatively safe northern sections of the space shuttle for the more dangerous southern regions of outer space.
Although actually over the weather, the German astronautÂ suddenly claimed yesterday that he was feeling under the weather and that â€œmy government also gave me this here parliamentary mandate to stay put up here in the corner strapped to my seat if I want to, so there,â€ handing American astronaut Stanley G. Love a crumpled piece of paper Schlegel had been hiding in his spacesuit ever since takeoff.
A spokesman for the European Space Agency then later confirmed that the German governmentÂ also confirmed Schlegelâ€™s claim and insists that he continue to observe their secret parliamentary mandate protocol to not attach the European-made Columbus lab to the ISS Harmony module if â€œany kind of danger or the threat or even the thought of dangerâ€ is involved in any conceivable way.
â€œMy government never said that I would everÂ actually have to do any work on that dangerous space station thingy out there or anything,â€ elaborated Schlegel, tapping his forehead in disbelief. â€œAfter all, I am a man of science and peace. I mean, just because youâ€™re an astronaut doesnâ€™t necessarily mean that you ever have to go out into space.â€
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