OK, they call Main Street Hauptstrasse here, but the main thing is that “exiled Americans” are involved. Political pundits and expert-types all over the world were stunned yesterday when the voting results of the some 10,000 American exiles living in Berlin were made known. Not only did every exiled American Democrat taking part on the Super Tuesday primary elections vote for Senator Barack Obama, objective German news media scientists have discovered that every exiled American Republican, Libertarian, Southern and Northern Baptist, Scientologist, Communist, neo-Nazi and family pet voted for “The Big O”, too.

In light of the astounding and uncontestable results in Berlin, leaders of both the American Democratic and Republican parties across the pond in the United States are now openly considering amending the Constitution and cancelling all remaining primaries, conventions, and possibly even the November presidential election itself.

“I mean, like who are we to stand in the way of history or something?” asked one dumbfounded high-ranking Republican Party big wig. “If Senator Obama is good enough for the Germans, then why the hell should we waste our time and our resources exploring other alternatives? They already have a woman as president or whatever it is they call it over there, you know. So they are clearly the more experienced when it comes to this electing a minority or gender or ex-President’s wife just because they are a minority or a gender or an ex-President’s wife kind of thing. I think we should run with it.”

It is unclear at this time just when Senators Clinton and McCain and all the other hopeless losers who didn’t get elected here in Berlin will toss in their towels and then roll over on to them to die, but it is bound to only be a question of hours.

We gonna Obama your mama.

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

Be Sociable, Share!