Some movies are simply abysmal. There is nothing redeemable about them, nothing to justify purchasing them, not one single thing you can say to make up for the fact that you have the film sitting on your shelf. After years of flirting with the outskirts of that genre, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson finds himself launched smack dab into the middle of it with his latest artistic endeavor, The Game Plan.

Thanks to the Disney juggernaut, The Game Plan is now available on Disney DVD and Blu-Ray into the foreseeable future.

The Game Plan is a movie about the biggest football superstar and egomaniac ever, Joe Kingman – Number One on the field, and Number One in your heart! He and his non-NFL licensed team are making their way through the playoffs to the championship game. But then an unexpected visitor shows up on his doorstep – his previously unknown daughter. As I’m sure we’ve all expected, things go wrong and even worse and then everything gets all better.

The special features are far more impressive than the movie itself. There are bloopers with Marv Albert, deleted scenes, and an ESPN Exclusive look at the look at the fictional biography of Joe Kingman. There’s a featurette about making the movie, an ESPN look at how The Rock learned to play a quarterback, and several other more childish features.

I went into this film expecting it to be bad. It’s for kids, it’s about football, it had Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in it – these are all benchmarks to be met on the march to bad. Even with all that preparation, I was still surprised at just how bad it was, how wooden and uninspiring the acting was, how predictable the plot was, how horrid the writing was. I don’t think this movie made me laugh once and it certainly never made me pause to consider the more important parts of life either. This is a terrible movie.

This Game Plan leads nowhere but loss.

This DVD is available on Amazon.com.

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