Unready, unwilling and unable to ban the openly violent neo-Nazi NPD, the German government has now decided to declare the Church of Scientology unconstitutional so it can later not ban those wackos, either.

Using the same highly unsuccessful techniques that allowed Germany’s highly high court to deny the banning of the NPD back in 2003, the German government has given its security services a year’s time to gather enough evidence to enable them to not enable them to outlaw the so-called “church”. Germany hopes with this to become the first western country to fail loudly and miserably at having tried to shut Scientology down.

Authorities here are convinced that, being German, they can much better recognize what the suppression of individuality, the brainwashing of vulnerable minds and plots to take over the world really and truly look like while the rest of you complacent fools just sit there passively on your cushy sofas watching television or maybe blogging as these sinister Scientological alien body-snatching fiends prepare their final assault upon humanity, or what is left of it.

“Well we have to not ban something,” said one worried official. “I don’t want to have to tell my Scientologist grandchildren that I did not did not do everything in my power not to not stop them from taking power, now do I not?”

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