Alien SiegeSo, imagine this: the Kulku, a super-intelligent alien race (who look exactly like humans except for their bleached eyebrows, circular metallic spots on one cheek, and a small growth on their necks) are holding the Earth hostage. The ransom? Eight million human lives. See, they need these human lives so that they can send their blood back to their own planet and cure a super-bad disease they have going on there. For real. It’s the only way.

You’ve just imagined the first five overly-expositional minutes of Alien Siege, the new Sci Fi channel feature film to be released to DVD. Despite the slightly cliche alien-invasion concept, Alien Siege starts out promising, with erratic footage of explosions and news reporters lamenting the invasion of the Kulku. But as soon as the lead characters are introduced (Brad Johnson and Erin Ross as the most unlikely father/daughter pair in my personal cinematic history), the story goes downhill. And fast.

Johnson plays the brilliant scientist Stephen Chase, whose daughter Heather (Ross, impossibly playing a 20-year old) is chosen in the United States Kolku death lottery. But instead of standing by as the military enforces this arbitrary system, Chase decides to fight back. Luckily, Heather has some special property in her blood that makes her a sparable anomaly, at least for a few hours as the Kolku decide what to do, giving Chase time to team up with a band of mercenaries and hatch a little plot to save his daughter… oh yeah, and the planet too.

Watch as aliens are mowed down by gunfire, CGI spaceships explode into smoldering plywood, and human sacrifices are destroyed by bad special effects (really, it’s the effects that kill them). Carl Weathers makes a return to the small screen, after successfully lampooning himself on the hit tv series Arrested Development. His character is no more tongue-in-cheek than any of the other dead-serious roles here, but at least the knowledge of his ability to laugh at himself frees the audience a bit from the sheer pain of watching the rest of the actors strive to find a real moment amidst the shreds of this script.

Alien Siege comes across as a good concept, and ties in the Roswell crash mythology nicely with the rest of the story, but the low-budget production can’t carry the weight of the massive spaceships and gun-fights that the script demands. The plot lends itself to a dramatic exploration of how government would choose to deal with a required human sacrifice… but instead settles on how many aliens can be shot with laser guns. Unfortunately, failure is imminent before our heroes have a chance to save the day.

Zach’s Rating: F
Perfect For: Sci Fi Channel devotees
Stay Away if: You enjoy movies with at least one believable aspect

To purchase Alien Siege, visit Amazon
For more information on Alien Siege, visit the SciFi Channel

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