Spoiled rotten by his negligent human foster father Thomas Dörflein, Knut the polar bear has developed into a whining, moody and indolent adolescent rebel who has now been placed in solitary confinement until he cleans up his cage for once gosh darn it and I mean business this time young man, says Berlin Zoo director Bernhard Blaszkiewitz, or would have liked to.
Dörflein, too, has been reprimanded and ordered not to cuddle around with the once so cuddly and white Kuscheltier (stuffed animal, only still alive) after zoo experts came to the conclusion that the two hundred pound Knut could now very easily, though presumably still unintentionally, rip Herr Dörflein from limb to limb to limb, etc.
Blaszkiewitz has also threatened to restrict the bear’s television viewing time in the evening should he not straighten up his act pronto buddy, and violent computer gaming and chat room activity for hours on end is expected to be the next thing to go.
Dörflein could not be immediately reached for comment as he has at the doctor getting some stitches removed from an earlier cuddling session, but animal rights activists have threatened legal action should Blaszkiewitz continue with his cruel and inhuman punishment.
Gimme a hug!
Come visit me at Observing Hermann…
Loading ...
4 users commented in " Knut Now Lazy, No Good Teen "
Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackI’m a big Knut fan but, I take this with great humor! You’re creative, that was funny.
KNUT!!! #1
I am not aware that Thomas Doerflein has suffered any injury from Knut’s cuddles sessions. Knut is a bundle of joy. WEBSHOTS P
I am not aware that Thomas Doerflein has suffered any injury from Knut’s cuddle sessions. Knut is a bundle of joy. WEBSHOTS photos show a very loving, docile polar bear cub during his cuddle session with his “mommy” Mr. Doerflein. Polar bear cubs do not maul their mothers from what I gather. He should be with his mom until at least 2 1/2 years old. He needs his nurturing sessions for reassurance. He seems to look depressed as when he was left alone in July. He can suffer emotional, physical and mental deterioration that will hamper his development from this most recent separation. I think the Berlin Zoo personnel should learn more about precious polar bear cubs’ behavior and their incessant need of nurturing.
Knut is still so adorable. That spoilt boy is still number one in my books and I insist that all his privileges be restored at once or else I am taking a class action lawsuit against Berlin Zoo.
Have you all ever heard about adolescent emancipation? Of course he will be legally emancipated with all the millions he made for the Zoo minus his living expenses.
Leave A Reply