Spoiled rotten by his negligent human foster father Thomas Dörflein, Knut the polar bear has developed into a whining, moody and indolent adolescent rebel who has now been placed in solitary confinement until he cleans up his cage for once gosh darn it and I mean business this time young man, says Berlin Zoo director Bernhard Blaszkiewitz, or would have liked to.

Dörflein, too, has been reprimanded and ordered not to cuddle around with the once so cuddly and white Kuscheltier (stuffed animal, only still alive) after zoo experts came to the conclusion that the two hundred pound Knut could now very easily, though presumably still unintentionally, rip Herr Dörflein from limb to limb to limb, etc.

Blaszkiewitz has also threatened to restrict the bear’s television viewing time in the evening should he not straighten up his act pronto buddy, and violent computer gaming and chat room activity for hours on end is expected to be the next thing to go.

Dörflein could not be immediately reached for comment as he has at the doctor getting some stitches removed from an earlier cuddling session, but animal rights activists have threatened legal action should Blaszkiewitz continue with his cruel and inhuman punishment.

Gimme a hug!

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

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