Press Release from Churchill’s Parrot blogÂ
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASEÂ Â Â Â Â Â
November 9, 2007.Â Washington D.C. â€“ In an attempt to bolster flagging approval ratings amongst their constituents, Democratic strategists approached the producers of MTVâ€™s hit program Jackass on Friday to request recording a special episode of the program.Â
According to sources, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi told producers she is planning to bring another troops-out-of-Iraq bill to the House floor on next Friday – the 58th such attempt this year – and would like the Jackass team there to record the event.
â€œIâ€™ve never seen the show,â€ explained Pelosi.Â â€œBut my grandkids tell me itâ€™s â€˜da bomb!â€™Â So hey I’m down with that!â€
FromÂ 2000 until 2002, the Jackass television program featured individuals performing ridiculous, dangerous, and self-injuring stunts and pranks for the amusement of its viewers. Though regular production ceased in 2002, a number of spin-offs and theatrical versions have since met with great success amongst the depraved and dull-witted, thus catching the eye of Democratic strategists.Â
Initial reports indicate that Jackass producers are seriously considering producing the special episode.Â
â€œI mean they havenâ€™t got a (expletive) chance in hell,â€ said former Jackass producer, Don Kerschski.Â â€œThis could be (expletive) funnier than (expletive) Johnny Knoxville gettinâ€™ repeatedly kicked in the (expletive) over and over by (expletive) 11 year-old girls.Â (Expletive) hilarious!â€
Kerschski is referring to the fact that, despite the (decreasingly) mainstream mediaâ€™s best efforts to prevent it, the American public is beginning to realize that their military is currentlyÂ performing one of the most brilliantly executed and effective turnarounds of fortune in military history.Â Reports of massive reductions in casualties amongst civilians, Coalition Forces, and Iraqi Security Forces continue to seep into American public awareness.Â Evidently, the Democrats are entirely unaware of this phenomenon.
â€œMaybe somebody oughta tell Nancy and Harry?â€ suggest Kerschski.Â â€œNah.Â (Expletive) ‘em!Â This couldÂ be one of the best (expletive) episodes weâ€™ve ever done!â€Â
Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â ###
Via his web log, http://www.churchillsparrot.com/, Charlie, Sir Winstonâ€™s 107 year old pet parrot, endeavors to reinvigorate flagging Western Civilization through regular injections of the Churchillian spirit, so desperately lacking in the enfeebled, addle-brained â€œcultureâ€ left us in the wake of the 1960â€™s.Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â