Seymour Hirsch, the “presumably most unpopular disclosure journalist” the White House can possibly imagine, has exclusively disclosed to Germany that 1) George W. Bush believes in God and that 2) he believes he is doing said God’s Will. I mean, who would have thought that?

These shocking revelations come on the heels of other brand new, unexpected and thoroughly shocking disclosers, like Bush actually wanting to “build Democracy in Iraq” and “this President has put it into his head to remodel the Middle East. He really believes in this.”

Still reeling from these Revelations-type revelations, German readers’ jaws dropped even further when subjected to even more shocking news, although this time coming more in the form of tacit Hirsch admissions about how the so-called Surge is actually working even though everybody with any brains knows that it couldn’t and can’t and how he still refuses to let go of his personal Vietnam obsession he has been obsessing with for the past forty years whenever he refers to any conflict larger than a Los Angeles traffic jam, which admittedly can get quite ugly.

German readers are completely at a loss as to what to read next. After all, everyone knows that 1) God does not exist and 2) one could not do His or Her or Its Will even if He or She or It did exist because one does not have any will one’s own damned self. Not anymore, anyway. And alarmed at the very thought that something in Iraq might actually be working or that it maybe isn’t another Vietnam after all gives everybody here like totally the hives dude.

What could possibly not work next that might be tried anyway? A genuinely hard stance vis-à-vis Iran maybe? No way. That would be another Vietnam. And God knows we wouldn’t want that.

Come visit me at Observing Hermann…

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